How to Get a Last Minute Session With Me Without Looking Like a Fool

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If you’re asking me if I’m available now, the answer is always no.

I often make plans well before the day before. I am a freelancer with a relatively flexible schedule with enough notice, but once something’s on my calendar I try to keep my commitments and the time it takes to create for my freelancing.

That said, there are times where the rare, upfront person is able to get a booking with me that day. Here’s how it usually unfolds:

You Have screened previously With Me or Have Sent me all of Your screening information in the first interaction.

Right off the bat, clients I’ve seen in the past are much more likely to get a same-day session from me because the screening work has already been done, so there’s little left to do but get your deposit to confirm your timeslot and we’re good to go.

If you’re new and haven’t seen me before, you’ll have to be a little more upfront. My days are often busy once I wake up. On a typical non-provider day, I still work and make plans with people. If I’m on the go, the first thing I need to know with a new person is if I’ll feel safe with you. Texts back and forth or emails back and forth are a waste of my time when I’m out, and screening is difficult on my phone without all the information I ask for.

I get why you might not want to send your information to someone you haven’t met yet, especially if you don’t know if you’ll actually get a chance to see them. But if I can verify that you are who you say you are, you have a history of being safe around others, and I’m likely to not get involved with people that might harm me by seeing you, I’ll feel a lot more comfortable seeing how we can be on each other’s schedules, even if it’s not today. Even when on the run, if you give me all the required screening information immediately as well as some optional ones you’re willing to provide (like LinkedIn link, work badge, ID, etc.) I can very quickly check it on my phone and we can move to scheduling.

If I get an email from someone saying they’re “44 and fit, swm, discreet and trustworthy” this is not helpful and I’ll likely just trash it. I honestly do not care about that part, and it’s not a replacement for your screening information.

You Want an Outcall Within an Hour Drive or You’ve Seen I Actively Have Incall Available That Day

I used to be Outcalls ONLY for a long time. I didn’t want to figure out hosting or navigating hotels. I wanted to go to people’s places, have fun with them for a little while, and leave. I’m so efficient about doing outcalls from those days that I have an outcall bag perpetually packed in my car so I can take it with me, change and do myself up, and all I’d need to do is take a quick shower to freshen up at my client’s place and I’d be ready. If you’re looking for an outcall, I’m much more flexible with getting to you than I am for an incall.

Of course, I found that my branding attracted many married men. They couldn’t host me (usually). They needed somewhere to go so they could see me.

One day, I rented a nice hotel for a videoshoot I was doing for a friend’s business. I decided to stay there for a couple days after and see if I could see enough people to offset the costs. It ended up being wildly profitable and fun, so the monthly/bi-monthly proactive incall space was born.

Incalls are great because I stay in one place, but to me they’re also more work and energy than outcalls. With an incall, I have a lot more behind-the-scenes work to do to prepare for you than just showing up. For that reason, I don’t book incalls often unless I know it’ll be profitable for me to do so. Add that I have a certain standard for the type of incalls I book (read: the hotels I like cost more) and that profitability goes down a bit more.

I post when my incalls are in my ads, on Twitter, and in my newsletter. Openings can fill up quickly, but sometimes a cancellation happens or one time slot just doesn’t get booked. I’ve had same-day sessions with people that reached out hoping they could see me soon and I was able to fit them in that day by happenstance.

When I have availability for incalls, I often stay at the hotel during the day and do work to save commute time. Sometimes I’ll go over to my writing studio if I feel like it and have the time to go over there, but for the most part when I’m at an incall I’m there between 7amish until about 7pmish (I often go home to my puppy and sleep in my own bed unless I make arrangements well ahead of time). For incalls, I won’t take sessions that start later than 8:30 and even that is pushing it for me. More often than not, if I already have incall scheduled you’re way more likely to be able to get on my calendar if you see I have an opening at a time that you can see me. That is, assuming it’s not within the next hour or so. Which brings me to…

You’re Willing to Do a Ten Minute Phone call Shortly After Screening

You may pass screening with flying colors, but I prefer to schedule and talk to you briefly on the phone to verify how you’re planning on giving your deposit, plus or minus a couple of short questions I might sprinkle in to be personable.

Let me make this clear: if you’re on the phone with me, we’re looking to schedule our session. In my experience, it’s more efficient and less overwhelming than back and forth emails and texts.

But it’s so, so easy to still mess it up.

Rambling random things about you in an attempt to make me more comfortable is unnecessary at best and has me feeling less inclined to see you at worst.

Asking me to tell you about myself pings red flags too because… didn’t you see what I’m all about already? Why would you want to pry like this when I haven’t even agreed to meet you yet?

Asking me questions about services I provide (never do this!) is incriminating even if neither of us are associated with LE. So many phonecalls have ended with me saying, “I’m sorry, if you’re asking questions like that I can’t see you” because of this reason.

This is generally what the phone call is: you hear my voice and brief pleasantries so you can get a sense of who I am. We confirm times that work for us. I confirm possible locations if I need to get an incall or if I’m going to you. I confirm how you’re sending your deposit on my time.

On paper, it’s not the least bit sexy. But it’s respectful of both of our busy lives. I’ve been told that people enjoyed hearing my voice as we talked through these very important details. It might be brief, but it’s not emotionless.

You’re Ready to Send Your Deposit ASAP

I’m an avid Google Calendar user. Once you’re in my calendar, that’s it. It’s on like Donkey Kong.

Lame cliche aside, I don’t put you on my calendar until I receive your non-refundable deposit. The time to prepare for a session, especially in a rush, means I absolutely need proof that you’re coming. I’ve had incalls fall through and was left holding the bag for a hotel cost because of it. I’ve turned down other last-minute bookings or plans to make time for you.

Your deposit is my reassurance that you’re coming, you respect my time and my policies, and that you understand that even if things fall through, I still put in time and energy for you. When you send the deposit quickly after our phonecall, you’re telling me you’re excited and that you’re a giant, unquestionable “Fuck yes!” to seeing me.

Knowing you’re excited and can’t wait to do what I ask of you so we can see each other gets me excited. When we’re both excited, we both have so much more fun having a last-minute surprise.

And that’s really what you want, right?